CWP_05

Music: Gaslamp Funworks, One-eyed Maestro, &Cypher

Aaron: Hello, and welcome to another episode of “Crashbang’s Workshop,” a podcast that gives photography advice with a World of Warcraft twist. We’re your hosts. I’m Aaron, and –

Crashbang: DEFCON 2! Seal all the exits! Deploy the milkbone decoys!

Aaron: And that’s Crashbang, who as you may have noticed did NOT calm down during our hiatus.

Crashbang: He’s coming, Aaron! The destroyer of helms has a fix on our location! Nothing water soluble will be safe from the drool! No black clothing will be safe from the shed fur!

Aaron: Right. Apparently after our last episode we had a question sent in by Drethan himself, and even though a nasty sinus infection and end-of-school-year activities delayed our show for weeks, Crash here is STILL a little worked up by the whole thing.

Crashbang: Here, I’ve made these mock-ups of myself out of various explosives. Help me put skulls on top of them so the enemy will instinctively attack them.

Aaron: No way, Crash. I’m not going near anything that you actually WANT to explode.

Crashbang: Really? But you’ve been using my workbench for several days now.

Aaron: Um … why do I keep visiting your workshop?

Crashbang: I posed a similar question during our first episode, if you recall.

Aaron: Nevermind. I’ll let you finish off your, uh, defensive perimeter. I’ll read this week’s question. Drethan writes:

Hi there Aaron and a very nasty little gnome named Crashbang
As you have probably have noticed I haven’t been in WoW for a little while and there is a very good reason for that. He’s about 4 foot nothing, has a handlebar mustache, and is also known as mud when I get home. Here is what happened: It was late one night after the raid in Dragon Soul. I was getting ready to go home and snuggle next to Namastia when I remembered I needed to go to Dalaran to drop off some pictures I took during to the raid. No one was on except, yeah you guessed it, Crash. He reassured me that he wouldn’t partake in any funny business and offered to send me to Dalaran via teleport pad. Well long story short there was a flash of light then everything went dark though I heard a little cackle of a gnome before the light went out. I awoke to these strange people standing over top of me letting me know that I was no longer in Azeroth, I was now in the lands of Atria. The first words I spoke to these people was I am going to kill that gnome. I’ll tell more about my adventures with the really nice people know as the Asmo’s . I have 3 question for you about the pics I took during my little vacation.
1. The Asmo people live in a kinda perpetual darkness with some light however their eyes are always red. Is there a way I can tone down the redness in their eyes.
2. I went flying with my new friends and took some pictures however on some of them are blurry which is good with some of them are really bad. How can I fix the really bad ones
3. And lastly every picture that I’m in I’m not there what has Crash done to me?
I am enclosing a picture of Raven and I there is a problem where am I. Please tell Nam that I will be home soon. as for Crash I have one thing to say to you “RUN AWAY LITTLE GNOME RUN AWAY”

Drethan

Aaron: So Crash … is there a reason you teleported Drethan into another game entirely?

Crashbang: I didn’t!

Aaron: Really.

Crashbang: Well, not intentionally. I really was planning on porting Drethan to Dalaran, for one very specific reason.

Aaron: And that was…

Crashbang: He was willing to travel to an entirely different continent, while I remained behind and relatively unchewed. I wasn’t about to say no to that.

Aaron: And the evil cackle Dre heard?

Crashbang: You know I always laugh maniacally whenever I teleport anything.

Aaron: Fair enough. Then what happened?

Crashbang: Well, as you know, my superior skill in gnomish tinkering has a below average failure rate of 12.131444 (repeating of course). Unfortunately 12.131444 (repeating) is still higher than zero, and wormhole manipulation is still not an exact science. I mean, heck, a few months back I got replaced by my evil twin after a port to the Storm Peaks went horribly wrong. Fortunately, no one noticed.

Aaron: That would explain why half my lesson plans were replaced with surprisingly detailed manifestos concerning world domination.

Crashbang: Well that was something your students would have to learn sooner or later.

Aaron: No, it’s not. *Ahem* OK, Dre, let’s answer your questions before we go off topic again.

Crashbang: We were on topic?

Aaron: Shush, you! First off, Red eye reduction is a very common request that’s fairly easy to accomplish. If you don’t have it enabled on your camera, just open the photo in almost any image editor. Some of them will have a built in “Red Eye Reduction” tool or filter, but if they don’t all you need to do is use an oval selection tool to select each pupil and use a tool or filter to desaturate it. The exact steps for this will vary by program. It’s best to browse through your tool options and filters to find anything that mentions desaturation. You could actually use a color correction filter to give the eye a different color, but in my experience this leaves the eyes looking just as unnatural as they did with red pupils.

Crashbang: Dre said their eyes were naturally red, though. Should he be color correcting them at all?

Aaron: Good point, Crash. I usually don’t like to alter my photos to the point that they don’t resemble reality, but in this case I imagine the eyes appeared even more reddish due to the low light conditions in which the photos were taken. Taking even a little of the red out might make Dre’s photos appear to be a little more like what he remembers. As for your next question, Dre, motion blurs are notoriously difficult to remove in post-production. Until recently the only things that could be done were sharpening tools – which didn’t work very well – or making the images smaller – which removes a lot of the good details along with the blurring. Adobe has been working on specialized algorithms that have done an impressive job of removing motion blur from an image, but sadly you likely won’t have access to that unless you’re willing to fork over the cash for Adobe Photoshop. Whenever I find a photo with an unintentional motion blur I usually write it off as a lost cause.

Crashbang: As for your last question, I think I’m best qualified to answer it. You weren’t just ported to another world, but to an entirely different reality. Each reality has its own laws of physics, There’s a lot that remains similar – like gravity usually pulling you down, for example, but there can be subtle differences as well. In this new reality you discovered, it seems light acted in a subtly different way. As we all know, we see things because light bounces off of them. Some wavelengths are absorbed while others are not, and that’s how we sense various colors. It’s possible that light physics were sufficiently different from what you’re used to, enough so that the camera could not compensate for how the light bounced off of you. You very likely did not appear to your new friends the same way you appear to myself or any of your guild mates, but since they had no idea what you looked like on Azeroth they had no reference point to determine that there was anything different.
Aaron: That’s a pretty good theory, but it still doesn’t explain why he wouldn’t show up at all. And if things from Azeroth reacted differently to light, wouldn’t his camera have just malfunctioned the whole time?

Crashbang: Um … A wizard did it.

Aaron: But what about-

Crashbang: Wizard.

Aaron: And-

Crashbang: Wizard.

Aaron: So-

Crashbang: Wizard disguised as a robot.

Aaron: Right, I think it’s time to wrap up the show. If YOU have a question for Crashbang, you can send it to his Twitter account: @Crashbang_G. Of course you can also go to this show’s website, aaronbsmith.com/crashbang. In addition to submitting questions there, you’ll find links to subscribe to the show, previous episodes, and links to our various projects. Until next time, this is Aaron and Crashbang reminding you to keep your camera at the ready, and always ask if the workbench is rigged to explode.

-=-=-=-

You’ve been listening to the Crashbang’s Workshop Podcast. Music for this show has been provided by Kevin MacLeod. Find these tracks and more at http://incompetech.com.

This show is released under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License. Share and remix it all you like, but be sure to give credit and don’t make money off of it, or a raid group full of gnomish lawyers will track you down – and no one wants that.

CWP_04

Music: Gaslamp Funworks, One-eyed Maestro, & Cypher

Aaron: Hello, and welcome to another episode of “Crashbang’s Workshop,” a podcast that gives photography advice with a World of Warcraft twist. We’re your hosts. I’m Aaron…

Crashbang: And I’m furious!

Aaron: And that’s Crashbang, who apparently goes into a hissy fit every time a certain worgen’s name is mentioned.

Crashbang: You’d throw a temper tantrum too if you had to put up with the same shenanigans!

Aaron: And how many times have I and/or my property been damaged, Mr. “Trust Me This Is Perfectly Safe?”

Crashbang: *sigh* OK, your point is duly noted, but even with your encounters in my workshop you’ve never had to limp home over several miles after using your irreparably damaged helm to dig yourself out of a shallow grave.

Aaron: Irreparably damaged?

Crashbang: He chewed my head until all the spikes broke off my helmet. Those were a key structural feature, not to mention an important aesthetic flair. They literally and figuratively brought the whole piece together! When he was done with me he buried me in his backyard like some kind of discarded bone.

Aaron: OK, so he ruined one helmet. You always go on about how goggles are better.

Crashbang: I can’t wear goggles around he who must not be named. They do nothing.

Aaron: So I take it you’re not going to read this week’s question?

Crashbang: Not on your life. Or mine, for that matter.

Aaron: Fine, then I guess I’ll do it. Synrgy writes:

“During an adventure recently in Wyrmrest Temple, facing the minions of the World Breaker himself, Deathwing, I saw something that brought me straight to you. As we cheered gleefully in our own wonderment with the downed body of Warmaster Blackhorn behind us, a photo opportunity had arisen. As I readied the team for a trumphant portrait, I stood and gasped at the horror that tranpsired before me. Drethan’s face (yes Drethan, your nightmarish predator who wants to chew on you. He really is a nice Lupine if you get to know him.) was incredibly green! It was no doubt due to my astronomical healing waves of epic proportions. Here is my dilemma. How do I get that green out of the picture? I do not want to see the face of a wretched Orc next to me after a glorious battle.

I thank you kindly and I have attached a statue in my liking, with a stance to show off my aura of greatness as the elements surround me.

-Synrgy”

Aaron: So, uh … I can’t help but notice that there isn’t a statue.

Crashbang: I assumed that it may have been booby trapped by the evil one, who we now know was an orc in disguise this whole time. After rudimentary scanning found nothing out of the ordinary, I bisected it, ground it to dust, set the dust on fire, irradiated it, cooked it for 20 minutes after preheating the oven to 450 degrees, placed it in a box, placed that box in a bigger box, mailed it to myself, then smashed it with a hammer.

Aaron: …

Aaron: So Synrgy, how about we go ahead and answer your question. Color correction can be a pain, to be certain. Cameras are notorious for not dealing with light the same way a human eye does, particularly in low light conditions. I don’t think it would have helped in this case, but professional photographers will often use light meters and grey cards to attempt to capture everything just as it appears, which usually prevents unseemly events such as party members turning green.

Crashbang: Or maybe the camera revealed him for what he really is! The camera doesn’t lie, Aaron! They don’t even mention cake!

Aaron: That’s a misconception, Crash. Cameras lie all the time, it’s just that they do so in a convincing manner. Nevertheless, it’s possible that Dre was in fact green thanks to a debuff of some sort. if this was merely a green tint due to lighting issues it would be easy to color correct in Photoshop or some other editing app, but WoW debuffs tend to replace ALL colors with some other color – the only thing that doesn’t change is the value, or how light or dark the original color was. When this happens you’re left with four choices.

Crashbang: Choice one, vote to kick the orc traitor!

Aaron: No, Crash. The choices are: 1) Wait for the debuff to wear off – this can be difficult if the boss’ corpse disappears quickly, like Saurfang in ICC. 2) Take a 2nd picture afterwards and edit the two together, which would sort of defeat the purpose of properly commemorating the event. 3) Try to replace all the “incorrect” colors in an image editing program, which I recommend you don’t try unless you’re quite skilled at digital painting already, or 4) Apply some sort of filter to make the entire image greyscale or monochromatic. A sepia setting is commonly used, though a black and white image is also traditional and a classic way to avoid all color correction issues.

Crashbang: You should still probably nuke him from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

Aaron: So I think it’s about time to wrap up the show. If YOU have a question for Crashbang, you can send it to his Twitter account: @Crashbang_G. Of course you can also go to this show’s website, aaronbsmith.com/crashbang. In addition to submitting questions there, you’ll find links to subscribe to the show, previous episodes, and links to our various projects. Until next time, this is Aaron and Crashbang reminding you to keep your camera at the ready, and spay or neuter your worgen.

Crashbang: Aaron, that has to be the first outro you’ve ever done that I actually enjoyed. Well played.

Aaron: Thanks, I thought you’d like that.

-=-=-=-

You’ve been listening to the Crashbang’s Workshop Podcast. Music for this show has been provided by Kevin MacLeod. Find these tracks and more at http://incompetech.com.

This show is released under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License. Share and remix it all you like, but be sure to give credit and don’t make money off of it, or a raid group full of gnomish lawyers will track you down – and no one wants that.

CWP_03

Music: Gaslamp Funworks, Theme for Harold var 1, & Cypher

Crashbang: *poorly done imitations of Bruce Lee in the background*

Aaron: Hello, and welcome once again to another episode of Crashbang’s Workshop. We’re your hosts, Aaron…

Crashbang: And Crashbang!

Aaron: And we’re here to answer your photography questions – with a World of Warcraft flair to them, of course. Um … Crash … what are you doing?

Crashbang: Why, practicing my martial arts, of course! Gnome monks are the way to go in the Mists of Pandaria expansion, after all.

Aaron: Really? Because it looks to me like all you’re doing is wiggling your fingers and saying “woo” over and over again.

Crashbang: Well they DO have a healing spec. Don’t all healers stand in the back and wiggle their fingers?

Aaron: Well there’s more to it than just that – Paladins have to cast Judgement every now and then …. Hey, I thought you were dead set on being a gnome paladin.

Crashbang: *sigh* Yes, I know, but we’re about to get our 4th expansion and Blizz is still not returning my phone calls. Monks can tank, heal, and do up close and personal DPS. Mekkatorque’s Beard, if you just gave them some plate armor they would BE paladins!

Aaron: That’s funny, because when you were playing the Beta all I saw you doing was hitting [Roll] over and over again.

Crashbang: Like a nitro boost that never malfunctions! I never felt so free!

Aaron: Right, and you don’t mind having to trade out your painstakingly acquired recolored Paladin T2 transmog set?

Crashbang: I’ve been thinking of taking up leatherworking. Worgen are skinable, right?

Aaron: Not since 4.0 hit.

Crashbang: Oh, poo.

Aaron: How about we move on to this episode’s question.

Crashbang: I guess we should.

Akari asks: Ok I got a question for ya… “What’s the best way to store a camera when traveling?” I ask cause my m8 has a tendency to break his cams when he goes on holiday… Any tips?

Aaron: This sounds familiar. Didn’t we get a question like this from Hasteur a while back?

Crashbang: It’s similar, yes. Enough that it’s getting the same short answer, but all the details are different. Hasteur wasn’t asking about keeping his camera from being broken.

Aaron: Ah, yes, you have a point.

Crashbang: I need to go get something quick. You answer the question for a while and I’ll be right back.

Aaron: O.K…. Well, Akari, Crash and I are both certain that the best advice for packing a camera is “don’t do it.” Chances are your friend will see plenty of things while en route to his destination that he’ll love to photograph, but he won’t be able to get his camera out in time if it’s shoved in a pack somewhere. If the camera’s out, he should make sure its strap is wrapped securely around his wrist. Most damage I’ve seen done to cameras has been from dropping them. It might feel silly at first, but it’s a valid safety precaution. Think of it as a weapon chain for your camera to make sure you don’t get disarmed.

Crashbang: Almost ready, keep talking!

Aaron: Now many people take trips with more than one camera. I have my good, expensive, high quality Nikon, but I also have a less expensive point-and-click camera as well as the one built into my phone. I don’t always NEED my best camera out, and there’s times a smaller camera is more convenient. When I’m packing my Nikon for travel I keep it in an old padded camera bag. If you don’t have one or the amount of luggage you’re allowed to take with you is limited, pack it in a suitcase surrounded with your clothes to help cushion any impacts. I’d only do this for carry-on luggage, though, as you’ve no idea how hard an impact your suitcase might encounter. I can only imagine how heartbroken I would be if my Nikon got damaged somehow.

Crashbang: All right, here it is!

Aaron: A Companion Cube?

Crashbang: No, silly, I only made it up to LOOK like a Companion Cube. This is a Stasis Box! Here, let me use your Nikon to demonstrate.

Aaron: Crash, I’d really rather you didn’t-

Crashbang: See, you open it up here, and anything placed inside is instantly frozen in time! Any attempt to knock it, scratch it, dent it, shoot it, irradiate it, transmogrify it, eat it, detonate it, or remove it just won’t work! It’s completely impervious to everything!

Aaron: Wow, that’s rather ingenious! So … how do you get the camera back out?

Crashbang: Weren’t you paying attention? Once it’s in it’s safe. If it was possible to remove it it might get stolen.

Aaron: Crash … You just took the best and most expensive camera I’ve ever owned and made sure I would never be able to use it again.

Crashbang: Oh, it’s not impervious FOREVER, don’t worry about it.

Aaron: Oh really? So when do I get my camera back?

Crashbang: The [Volatile Fire] powering it should be used up in about 314.15 years – give or take a month.

Aaron: You know … I think I’m going to help you become a gnome monk.

Crashbang: Really? That’s particularly nice of you, all things considered.

Aaron: Yeah … to start, I’m going to help you perfect your ability to roll. Mind you, it might hurt an awful lot, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Crashbang: Uh oh.

Aaron: But first, let’s wrap up the show. If YOU have a question for Crashbang, you can send it to his Twitter account: @Crashbang_G. Of course you can also go to this show’s website, aaronbsmith.com/crashbang. In addition to submitting questions there, you’ll find links to subscribe to the show, previous episodes, and links to our various projects. Until next time, this is Aaron and Crashbang reminding you to keep your camera at the ready, and away from anything resembling a Companion Cube.

-=-=-=

You’ve been listening to the Crashbang’s Workshop Podcast. Music for this show has been provided by Kevin MacLeod. Find these tracks and more at http://incompetech.com.

This show is released under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License. Share and remix it all you like, but be sure to give credit and don’t make money off of it, or a raid group full of gnomish lawyers will track you down – and no one wants that.

CWP_02

Music: Gaslamp Funworks, Theme for Harold var 1, & Cypher

Aaron: Hello? Anyone here? Crash? Corgi Army? Anyone?

Crashbang: …

Aaron: Well, the equipment’s all running, so I guess wherever Crash went he intends to be back soon. Um … hi, and welcome to Crashbang’s Workshop: a podcast where your hosts Crash (wherever he is) and Aaron (that’s me) answer your World of Warcraft themed photography questions. Speaking of which, give me a moment. I’m going to look around and see if we have any questions for this episode.

*Paper shuffling*

Aaron: Let’s see … Mekgineer’s Chopper schematics … notes on tinkering in non-euclidean spaces … SCP-882, whatever that is… something that looks like a love letter…

Crashbang: You leave that alone!

Aaron: Woah, sorry, Crash, I didn’t see you there! Of course, in retrospect I should have taken a look inside the couch cushion fort you built over there in the corner.

Crashbang: Quiet, you fool, you’re giving away too much information about my location!

Aaron: Paranoid, much?

Crashbang: It’s not paranoia if they ARE out to get me my friend!

Aaron: “They?” Who’s “they?”

Crashbang: Oh there are many enemies. Right wing activists, left wing activists, dorsal wing activists…

Aaron: Pretty sure that last one doesn’t exist.

Crashbang: Oh they don’t actually HAVE dorsal wings – most of them, at least. I’m referring to the silent militant moderate majority.

Aaron: Wait … what?

Crashbang: Oh, they’re a crazy lot – constantly trying to find common ground between parties and make decisions that benefit everyone involved – OR ELSE!

Aaron: Crash, did you drink the glowing water from your reactor core again?

Crashbang: THEY EXIST, I TELL YOU! I just spent a week doing surveillance work in one of their ringleader’s flower beds disguised as a common lawn gnome! Every day I watched him walking down his sidewalk to get his mail, acting like he owned the place!

Aaron: Probably because he did.

Crashbang: Did he, Aaron? Did he? Or is it more likely that, due to the tumultuous nature of our present economy, the house was mortgaged?

Aaron: OK, but I still don’t see how-

Crashbang: BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! It has come to my attention that a particular worgen is specifically seeking me out for nefarious purposes. I know him well. We’ve met on the field of battle many times in the past. I thought I’d given him the slip, but it seems that he has never ceased his attempts to track me down. Chew toy, indeed!

Aaron: Chew toy … Crash, are you talking about Drethan?

Crashbang: SPEAK NOT HIS NAME! Even now he seeks me out, a jar of peanut butter in his left hand, a bottle of hot sauce in his right! They’re economy size containers, of course. He’s fury specced, so he can carry them easily.

Aaron: You’re making way too much of a big deal over this. Dre’s a nice guy, honest! He’s even on my RealID.

Crashbang: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! You fool! Now he knows where you are, and by extension, he knows where I am! Our security’s been compromised! Quick, you take this and reinforce the couch cushion fort, I’ll deploy the robotic fire hydrants as a delaying tactic!

Aaron: I – wait, is this an arc welder? Crash, I’m not going to use an arc welder on couch cushions. Do you have any idea what kind of fire hazard that is?

Crashbang: Of course I do, what kind of fool do you take me for?

Aaron: Oh man that’s way too easy.

Crashbang: There’s a reason why the robotic fire hydrants are fully functional. Any fire that breaks out won’t get more than 10 feet from the source.

Aaron: Except I’ll be within that 10 foot radius if I’m using an arc welder on upholstery.

Crashbang: That’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Aaron: Look, can we just answer this episode’s question?

Crashbang: Question? We don’t have a question.

Aaron: Sure we do – this love letter that someone sent in.

Crashbang: IT’S NOT A LOVE LETTER AND GIVE THAT BACK!

Aaron: I do believe you’re blushing. In any case this “non-love letter” smells faintly of motor oil and appears to have been written on blueprint paper. All it’s missing is obvious radioactivity.

Crashbang: You, uh … might not want to turn on that Geiger counter, then.

Aaron: Mm hmm. Well, since I’m already doomed to gnomish decontamination procedures, I might as well read this.

Crashbang: No, don’t!

Aaron: Mousi writes:

“When taking pictures in dim lighted dungeons, how can you take a better picture to show the details of your subject? Say, their cuteness.”

She then goes on to add several hearts, Xs, Os, and at least one drawing of a pony.

Crashbang: Give me that! You had no right!

Aaron: Consider it payment for stomping through my flowerbed for a week. Also: Garden gnomes don’t wear goggles.

Crashbang: *inaudible grumbling*

Aaron: OK, Mousi, since Crash is obviously twitterpated-

Crashbang: Am not! … at least until empirical evidence proves otherwise…

Aaron: Yes, of course … anyway, dungeons and instances offer an interesting challenge. Groups will usually not wait for two lovebirds to set up the best shot, so you’ll need to take pictures on the run. If you’re shooting on manual, open your aperture up as far as it will go – the lower the F-Stop, the better. This will allow for faster shutter speeds while still avoiding tripod use. It would also help to group with party members that tend to generate a lot of light themselves. Mages, boomkin, and, let’s face it, any healer would be great for this. You’ll want your subject to NOT be between you and your light source however, as that would cause it to be back lit and subsequently silhouetted. Sometimes a silhouette will look pretty awesome, but from how you worded your question it seems to me you want details in your photos. Crash, is there anything you’d like to add?

Crashbang: *rather subdued* No … may I have my love letter back, now?

Aaron: Sure, here. It’s about time to wrap up the show, anyway. If YOU have a question for Crashbang, you can send it to his Twitter account: @Crashbang_G. Of course you can also go to this show’s website, aaronbsmith.com/crashbang. In addition to submitting questions there, you’ll find links to subscribe to the show, previous episodes, and links to our various projects. Until next time, this is Aaron and Crashbang reminding you to keep your camera at the ready, and your couch fort reinforced.

-=-=-=-

You’ve been listening to the Crashbang’s Workshop Podcast. Music for this show has been provided by Kevin MacLeod. Find these tracks and more at http://incompetech.com.

This show is released under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial License. Share and remix it all you like, but be sure to give credit and don’t make money off of it, or a raid group full of gnomish lawyers will track you down – and no one wants that.