I didn’t cry today.

It’s been two years. I went to school, thinking that I did not want to be home alone. Students had early dismissal and a basketball game today. There would not be much time for teaching. I regretted my choice before I got there. Things were accomplished, but not as much as I wanted. I did …

17 Years

17 years ago today, I said “I do.” Popular culture says I should have been nervous. Ready to flee. Afraid of the “ball and chain.” I was never so sure of anything, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. For almost 16 years, Through the sickness and the health, …

Things I Miss

The slight chuckle you’d give when I said something stupid that you invariably thought was sweet. The routine we had where I’d ask if you wanted supper and you’d say “yes,” but then wait until I asked what you wanted to eat. The small, sympathetic sound you would make when it was obvious I was …

Firsts

The first time I say “goodbye” instead of “I’ll be back.” The first time I see your family without you. The first time I go to your favorite restaurant alone. The first time I can look at your picture without crying. The first time I mix present and past tense when talking about you. The …

Observations

My alarm got me up just after 1 am. I remember turning it off. I have no alarm set for that time, but now I can’t sleep, so I guess I’ll write instead. I keep seeing things that remind me of her. I keep  hearing things in conversation that make me think she would find …

Goodbye

This is the last picture I ever took of Kelli. She was admitted for abdominal pain and it was determined that she needed her gall bladder removed. The routine, non-invasive surgery couldn’t be done because of all the other surgeries Kelli’s had throughout her life, so they had to do the old school “giant cut …