{"id":1093,"date":"2019-06-19T20:57:58","date_gmt":"2019-06-20T00:57:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/?p=1093"},"modified":"2022-06-08T11:17:00","modified_gmt":"2022-06-08T15:17:00","slug":"3-years","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/2019\/06\/19\/3-years\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Years"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"695\" src=\"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/IMG_20160619_0012-1-1024x695.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1094\" srcset=\"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/IMG_20160619_0012-1-1024x695.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/IMG_20160619_0012-1-300x204.jpg 300w, https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/IMG_20160619_0012-1-768x521.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s been three years. Three years ago, early in the morning, I got a call telling me you were gone. I&#8217;d only gone home to feed the cats and get some rest. The hospital was close and the chairs weren&#8217;t comfortable for sleeping. I could have been there when you passed, but I wasn&#8217;t. I have to live with that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Grief doesn&#8217;t go away. Not really. It settles in your heart and you learn to accept it, or you don&#8217;t, but you still carry it with you either way. It lingers and occasionally flares up, like tendonitis or arthritis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m getting better at preparing for today. I&#8217;m getting better at avoiding triggers, and identifying activities that soothe the ache. It took three years and a lot of conversations with my therapist, but I&#8217;ve  made progress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m not better. I&#8217;m not healed. I&#8217;m better at coping of the chronic condition of missing you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I still miss you a lot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been three years. Three years ago, early in the morning, I got a call telling me you were gone. I&#8217;d only gone home to feed the cats and get some rest. The hospital was close and the chairs weren&#8217;t comfortable for sleeping. I could have been there when you passed, but I wasn&#8217;t. I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1094,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[42,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1093","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog-photo","category-photo","post_format-post-format-image"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/IMG_20160619_0012-1.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8NYym-hD","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":728,"url":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/2017\/03\/16\/ms-nelson-set\/","url_meta":{"origin":1093,"position":0},"title":"Ms. Nelson Set","author":"Aaron Smith","date":"2017-03-16","format":false,"excerpt":"Looks good. I only played a (very) small part in getting it done, but I'm glad I was able to help.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Photo&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Photo","link":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/category\/photo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170316_100630.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170316_100630.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170316_100630.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170316_100630.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170316_100630.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170316_100630.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":821,"url":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/2017\/06\/10\/baltimore-annapolis-trail\/","url_meta":{"origin":1093,"position":1},"title":"Baltimore &#038; Annapolis Trail","author":"Aaron Smith","date":"2017-06-10","format":false,"excerpt":"The Baltimore and Annapolis Trail is literally a trail that extends from Baltimore all the way to Annapolis. Kelli and I used to walk along portions of it every now and then, as the part near where we lived was mostly level, surrounded by trees that provided plenty of shade,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Art Photo&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Art Photo","link":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/category\/photo\/art-photo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/P6100020.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/P6100020.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/P6100020.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/P6100020.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/P6100020.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/P6100020.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":368,"url":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/2015\/11\/16\/leaf-monoprints\/","url_meta":{"origin":1093,"position":2},"title":"Leaf Monoprints","author":"Aaron Smith","date":"2015-11-16","format":false,"excerpt":"Leaves decayed on the sidewalk and left a pattern. I love this time of year. Even nature is getting into printmaking.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Art Photo&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Art Photo","link":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/category\/photo\/art-photo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151116_073858.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151116_073858.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151116_073858.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151116_073858.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151116_073858.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151116_073858.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":407,"url":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/2015\/12\/10\/im-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":1093,"position":3},"title":"I&#8217;m Here","author":"Aaron Smith","date":"2015-12-10","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm here, because Kelli's here. She's not having a fun time.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog Photo&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog Photo","link":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/category\/photo\/blog-photo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151210_120728-e1496603886521.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151210_120728-e1496603886521.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151210_120728-e1496603886521.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20151210_120728-e1496603886521.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":126,"url":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/2013\/03\/24\/pax-east-2013-day-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":1093,"position":4},"title":"PAX East 2013, Day 3","author":"Aaron Smith","date":"2013-03-24","format":false,"excerpt":"PAX East Day 2's highlight for Kelli was getting to meet Zarhym, the Community Manager for World of Warcraft.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blog Photo&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blog Photo","link":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/category\/photo\/blog-photo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/2013-03-24-13.13.43-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/2013-03-24-13.13.43-2.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/2013-03-24-13.13.43-2.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/2013-03-24-13.13.43-2.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/2013-03-24-13.13.43-2.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/2013-03-24-13.13.43-2.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":907,"url":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/2017\/06\/29\/all-the-dice\/","url_meta":{"origin":1093,"position":5},"title":"All The Dice","author":"Aaron Smith","date":"2017-06-29","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm going to play a tabletop role playing game called Pathfinder, and I'm not sure I have enough dice. Couldn't find my old ones. This is a mix of my wife's dice, one she bought me that flashes when you roll a nat20, and some that I bought yesterday \"just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Art Photo&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Art Photo","link":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/category\/photo\/art-photo\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170629_113748.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170629_113748.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170629_113748.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170629_113748.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170629_113748.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/IMG_20170629_113748.jpg?resize=1400%2C800&ssl=1 4x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1093","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1093"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1093\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1095,"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1093\/revisions\/1095"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aaronbsmith.com\/photos\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}